What You’re Really Saying When Upset

Has your partner been good at guessing what you’re really saying when upset, even though you may be saying or implying something different—or not as specific?



It’s true. We all hear ourselves saying something fair and reasonable, when we could be saying it better.

And our partner could just be hearing an attack in a foreign language, that will trigger them to be defensive.

Who in the world wants to be corrected?

A simple outburst, puts us on the defense. This is our moment to stand up for ourselves, making up for all those times we didn’t.

Then again, there are those times that an issue goes ignored, and an outburst, or cry for help in colorful language gets your partner’s attention and they respond, “I didn’t realize it was such a big issue for you. Now that I know, I want to do something about it.”

Surprisingly, all the nice ways it was said before didn’t register in their mind.

Of course, these moments are rare.

That is why, actually saying what you mean to say, will bring so much more connection to your relationship.

In another video, we explain what the hit TV show, Friends, can teach us about the #1 skill we all must have in communication.

And if you’re down, you can take the Free 11-Day Communication Challenge, to be on target with your partner.