Romance without the Cheesiness

Romance without the Cheesiness

  “My partner bugs me to be more romantic, but how can I romance them without the cheesiness that I dislike so much.” To some people this may sound like an oxymoron: “Romance is cheesy,” they’ll say. Since this month, August, is Romance Awareness Month, why not shed light on this deprived ritual between some couples? Let’s start with a video. Take the quick quiz and learn the two options you have to be romantic without the cheesiness. Romance without the Cheesiness Now that you’ve watched it, let’s clarify a couple things. As I said in the video, Romance is a way to display your affection. Some sort of proof that your care and amour is still breathing and living—not dead on arrival.   If you’re the one seeking to romance without being cheesy: Find ways that you can share or show how you feel that you feel comfortable...

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How To Buy Happiness

How To Buy Happiness

Can you just pay someone to make you happy? Can you buy happiness? Technically, yes, according to recently released research mentioned in the New York Times, we CAN buy happiness—and reduce stress. But who do we pay? Can you just pay your partner to be loyal to you? Wouldn’t that be nice! In today’s video, I talk about what it is that you’re buying and how this applies to romantic relationships. (This is a series of videos we’re releasing for the next 2 months every Friday, to see if this is something we want to continue.)  There’s a good point to make, I wish we all knew sooner than later. Because it’s not about spending extra money, but really redirecting the money you already spend to things that will make you happier.       After seeing what money can and can’t buy you, it may seem like you have...

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Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

  “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you.” What’s the difference?!? Is it possible to fall out of love so suddenly or just because? Research suggests there are 3 common dangers that direct us to falling out of love. I explain in the video why that is. It’s good to know, because we don’t want our partner to stop caring about us all of sudden. It’s unstable. Plus, you can avoid it. It’s completely fair to want a loyal and loving partner that cares about your happiness.   This is our first video for Love Savvy Club! Although I’ve made some in the past, we’re bringing them back. We don’t know yet if we will post every other Friday or every month with a mix of blogs, but we do know they’ll be engaging and fun, not always the standard-advice video. In any case, you will still...

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Heartbreak Remedy: When Feeling Disillusioned

Heartbreak Remedy: When Feeling Disillusioned

  Sometimes a dark day is upon us and all we want to do is hide in a hole or run as fast as we can away from this pain. This heartbreak we feel, may seem difficult to remedy or get rid of. Maybe you felt betrayed, experienced a big loss, or like you’ve failed in something important to you and now you want to cure this heavy heart breaking in your chest. Today, may not feel like a day of hope or of possibly living without this burden. Tomorrow may not feel close enough to reach a time of knowing this moment is in the past, or tomorrow doesn’t seem worth the trouble and the struggle. We get that. Some days are difficult. And the pain can be carried onto months and even years. Give yourself this time to process your current state. When you do that, the poison won’t...

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What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

  Not to say Ross’ “we were on a break” line isn’t an ice-breaker giving him that irresistible charm, but the writers behind the show FRIENDS had a secret “competitive” weapon that therapists and real-deal relationship experts use and teach their clients. As much as we love to argue about another “stupid” issue, there are times when we can save ourselves a headache. Ironically, the hit tv show FRIENDS teaches us the most important thing about communication. Today’s video is all about how to get our message across without getting louder, using the cold shoulder, mind reading, or giving up. It’s sort of a “blast from the past” video, before Love Savvy Club, and at the birth of the 11-day Communication Challenge. Watch it and learn the secrets that make it ridiculously easy to overcome any communication problems.   After watching the video, test the 2 secrets yourself this week, or even for the next...

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Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

  Say you don’t have the time or money to plan those romantic dates because last time you went to the opera by private plane with—wait, that’s Pretty Woman. In every relationship education class there is a strong encouragement for regular date nights. Some couples say they don’t miss a week. Others, ahem, a good amount, say they try once in awhile. Then there’s those who say they don’t need date nights at all. Well, what is best for you? Are you missing out on something if you changed the way you date your long-term partner?  It’s almost like the question of comparing which workout is better, high-intensity or moderate? Depends. One saves time. But why are you working out? What’s the purpose? To lose weight, be healthy, maintain your weight, build up strength?   What’s the purpose of date nights? In the field of RME (relationship and marriage educaion), we often...

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We never forget when others hurt us—and why that's a good thing

We never forget when others hurt us—and why that’s a good thing

  We won’t forget the hurtful things. That’s our human blessing. If we were to forget it would be the same as walking up to a rattle snake in the wild and petting it. Being completely abset-minded of the pain we’re deliberately walking into. Our memory lets us know this, whatever this is, is not safe. The fear has been our alarm to survive and avoid physical danger. Today, we don’t find ourselves physically running away from danger, but emotionally we are. It’s healthy to be aware and identify what’s simply not safe. But it’s unhealthy for our bodies to consume our fear. Sometimes, we have to be in incredibly difficult situations where we feel uncomfortable, betrayed, belittled, ostracized, or bullied. We are forced to a certain point. This bodily reaction is telling us to run, but we can’t. But we can gently leave these scenarios without causing more...

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31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

    A friend of mine said years ago, “Marriage is a battlefield” and every offense is obviously intentional. At that time I could definitely relate to feeling in an episode of Tom & Jerry. Your partner may be out to get you. Then again, we may just be foolish enough to believe this and other myths about love. Love is not just nature’s way of tricking us to reproduce… …but also to accept an imperfect human being as our teammate in life.  Or as MyLittlePwny so eloquently put it: Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to. So let’s reduce our chances of disappointment, shall we? 31 Myths About Love Debunked (based on reliable research): 1. Play hard to get: Will attract a specific kind of mate. Those that get bored after the chase. Watch Lucy’s video on “How to Play Hard to Get” to get...

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How to help a friend with relationship problems

How to help a friend with relationship problems

  As human beings we need to support each other and be there for each other. Despite our differences in what makes us upset or what we truly want, we need each other to get through any setbacks or current struggles. We’re not meant to struggle on our own.  We have the power to make things worse for our friend, like upsetting them more and affecting their emotional health, or take a load off their shoulders and be by their side in whatever path they take. The last thing we want is to make things worse because of misguided advice! We don’t want to say the wrong thing, get over involved, or assume our friend has the same needs and feelings we do to then realize they got the results they didn’t want (but we would’ve wanted if we were in their shoes). The worst adivce we ever got was to...

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Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Are you experiencing meaningless happiness? Remember thinking “I will be happy when ____.” Then it happens, and after some time, or sometimes even immediately, it’s not as fulfilling. Meaningless happiness is what you feel when what you thought what would make you happy, actually doesn’t. Maybe we’ve won a Grammy, had a makeover, hit the jackpot, bought a house, got engaged, lost our virginity, finally stopped biting our nails, and lost some weight to then find something else we need. All because we thought, “If only I were rich/famous/fit/the boss/engaged/homeowner, I would be happy.” If only. What’s your “if only” that you’re thinking about now? According to the happiness gurus in positive psychology, all that “if only” amount to 10% of our happiness. The good news, we have control of our happiness, 40% of it to be exact. Doctor Sonja Lyubomirsky and her collegues at the University of California, Riverside found...

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The Most Romantic Gift You Can Give

The Most Romantic Gift You Can Give

Question for you: would you rather be adored or ignored? Even in this world of 7.4 billion people, someone is enchanted by your uniqueness, believe it or not. And more often than not, partners do care about their other half, but don’t necessarily show it (they might not know how or they haven’t had their own needs met). What do we welcome any day of the week———and really is the most romantic gift you can give someone?   Responsiveness. Warm, attentive and supportive recognition of our needs, welfare, and interests.   We want to see indicators that our partner understands us and cares about us. That excludes being indifferent, judgmental, critical, and insensitive. A responsive partner is actively engaged while listening, compassionate to our needs, and sensitive to our fears and insecurities. They are genuinely interested in us, care about what we have to say, acknowledge us, and make us...

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Secrets Couples Don't Tell (but should they?)

Secrets Couples Don’t Tell (but should they?)

  Psss, have you shared with your partner what it is that you really want (fill in the blank: this weekend, to solve your recent disagreement, to feel loved, to destress, from them to support you in your goals, to feel pleased)? Don’t worry. I won’t tell ’em. That’s between the two of you and it’s none of my business. But did you know about these secrets couples don’t tell, sometimes not even each other? 1. When they feel jealous Do they hide and react in other ways? Are they up front about it? Is it often and overbearing? Is it not enough? What’s the right amount? It’s tricky because a completely healthy and secure adult can be jealous about something their partner wouldn’t be, but it doesn’t make it any less valid. It takes a lot of courage and self-esteem to stand up for yourself and say “I’m not comfortable...

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