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How to help a friend with relationship problems

How to help a friend with relationship problems

  As human beings we need to support each other and be there for each other. Despite our differences in what makes us upset or what we truly want, we need each other to get through any setbacks or current struggles. We’re not meant to struggle on our own.  We have the power to make things worse for our friend, like upsetting them more and affecting their emotional health, or take a load off their shoulders and be by their side in whatever path they take. The last thing we want is to make things worse because of misguided advice! We don’t want to say the wrong thing, get over involved, or assume our friend has the same needs and feelings we do to then realize they got the results they didn’t want (but we would’ve wanted if we were in their shoes). The worst adivce we ever got was to...

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Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Are you experiencing meaningless happiness? Remember thinking “I will be happy when ____.” Then it happens, and after some time, or sometimes even immediately, it’s not as fulfilling. Meaningless happiness is what you feel when what you thought what would make you happy, actually doesn’t. Maybe we’ve won a Grammy, had a makeover, hit the jackpot, bought a house, got engaged, lost our virginity, finally stopped biting our nails, and lost some weight to then find something else we need. All because we thought, “If only I were rich/famous/fit/the boss/engaged/homeowner, I would be happy.” If only. What’s your “if only” that you’re thinking about now? According to the happiness gurus in positive psychology, all that “if only” amount to 10% of our happiness. The good news, we have control of our happiness, 40% of it to be exact. Doctor Sonja Lyubomirsky and her collegues at the University of California, Riverside found...

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5 Steps To Stop Work From Destroying Your Marriage

5 Steps To Stop Work From Destroying Your Marriage

We all know work can get in the way of a really great relationship—and family. There are both sides to the coin. “I would like my partner’s support.” “I would like to feel like a priority.” We’re stuck in a catch-22—within that feeling of disappointment. We don’t give a little because we don’t feel loved, and our partner doesn’t give a little because they don’t feel loved. There are 5 vital steps to take to avoid work from destroying your marriage. In fact, it might reconnect you in spite of it or because of it. So, don’t let work be a homewrecker with these 5 steps:   1. Take the “what’s important?” test  First be clear with yourself about what is important and why it is important. On a piece of paper write the answer to: Why do I want to work on the relationship? For those that are passionate about...

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Story: Our Marriage Was Like A Filthy Sock

Story: Our Marriage Was Like A Filthy Sock

Remember the first time you kissed your partner? Or even perhaps the first time you touched hands and came into any kind of contact that electrified your entire being? A friend of mine said, it was the moment he realized the look. Coming up close, barely containing his breathe. Inhaling the scent of perfume and exhaling the heat from his mouth. It’s the moment the flame has been ignited. When it fades, what do you do to spark it? Keep it warm and lit? When the light goes out (as it will because as fire needs oxygen, too much of it can blow it out), what do you do? How do you spark the flame? To be blunt, the flame will weaken, and go out. Maybe once, maybe twice, or maybe a dozen times. The reconnection, the making up, the reconciliation can make the flame bigger and harder to...

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Why You Should Be Treated Right In Your Relationship & How To Make It Happen Today

Why You Should Be Treated Right In Your Relationship & How To Make It Happen Today

How do you get your partner to treat you right? Either you have a wish or expectation that’s clear in your mind and now it’s time to make it a reality. Because darling, we all deserve to be treated right in our relationship.   Which statement do you agree with more? A. He/She should know what I’m upset about without me having to spell it out for them. B. I feel like I can’t breath sometimes, like I’m walking on eggshells, and my partner needs to cool off before approaching me. C. I wish my partner would say “I love you” more often; he/she isn’t giving me the affection I need.   The different people that shared this with us, all summed up “I’m being treated like crap!”   But “being treated like crap” is pretty relative, because the reasons and actual situations are very different, and the meaning...

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Keeping the Romance Alive After Having a Baby

Keeping the Romance Alive After Having a Baby

A little tired. A little sleepy. Thinking, romance after baby seems a bit far-fetched. But you have a little desire to heat things up or return to the way things were before.  Before diapers, spit ups, and crying in the middle of the night. Naturally you need time alone—away from “mini me.” Not only will a night alone together (where you’re enjoying yourself) will bring you satisfaction, but you’ll feel closer to your partner, physcially and emotionally. You’re gonna need this when parenting woos challenge the both of you. Suddenly your sweet little baby has yelled at you, maybe even cursed at you. Are you go to blame each other for your kid’s behavior? Or have you built up enough “connecting feelings” over the years that this kid can’t break down? And now you can handle the situation accordingly as all parents will face the troubling trials of parenthood. What’s...

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