Myths


What you say to your partner: Naughty or Nice?

What you say to your partner: Naughty or Nice?

What’s your secretly favorite insult that gives you goosebumps and a surge of adrenaline? Mine is from a favorite film, can you guess it? “You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin’ paramecium brain, munchin’ on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!” If I had my own list to check twice, I would put Robin Williams on the Nice list, wouldn’t you? Probably because it’s seems so satisfying to see his character release pent-up anger in a boyish, creative way and finally participating at the level of the lost boys. Forgetting about being an intolerable adult. And we all get that craving of just wanting to behave like a wild lost child because adulthood is a bit of a truckload of responsibilities. So guess what? It’s not totally detrimental to be a bit naughty with what you say to your partner.  Let’s be honest, we’re not always nice to each other. We get defensive....

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Are you lovable?

Are you lovable?

“Are you lovable?” That is what the therapist asked when a wife was complaining about her husband in a group class. We weren’t there undercover as a distressed couple, but for volunteer training.  He then mentioned the time he told his wife he loved her, but wasn’t IN love with her. He said she responded with a confident smile and said, “we’ll see about that.” He confessed it was very attractive. It made us think: if you are consistently spewing toxic waste from your mouth and behavior how does that promote a loving relationship between two people? What would you say if a stranger were to ask you: “are you lovable?” Of course, we all say YES if we were to be asked this. And then we might pause and hope lovable doesn’t mean perfect. Sure, we might give a little shrug about our mistakes, but conclude, we are one...

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3 behaviors that frighten love away, based on relationship science

3 behaviors that frighten love away, based on relationship science

If you feel pushed away, ya might want to send this link to your partner to drop a hint. Or if you feel frustrated or distant  this may explain why. As for the lovebirds, this blog helps you confirm what you’re doing right. But for everyone this is mainly to learn how to avoid the very things that frighten love away.  It can be terrifying to enter a relationship in hopes it ends well. As you know, starting a relationship requires a lot of risk. Of course, you earn trust with time, but you do have to take risks along the way and test to see if this is a relationship you want to continue, or if this person is right for you as a spouse. We’re baffled when it doesn’t work out, or we assume we know exactly the reason and avoid that in the next relationship to...

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How fast should a relationship problem be fixed?

How fast should a relationship problem be fixed?

How fast should a relationship problem be fixed? How long should it take to solve a problem between a couple? Or, when going through a rough patch, how fast should your relationship recover? It’s 3am and nothing is resolved. Your tired. Angry. Possibly hungry. Your mouth is now dry. And you’re probably raging inside feeling unloved or so sick of staying up you can’t hold your head up and just want to be left alone. Now, logically, it depends how big or small your problem is. If it’s tiny, like a 1, on a scale of 0-10 (0 being not bothered, and 10 being the worst thing that could happen in your relationship), then 1 is an easy problem to fix. You’ve probably already figured out a way to solve it by the end of this sentence. But if it’s more than a 3, you might be thinking, “How do...

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Do I Expect Too Much From My Partner?

Do I Expect Too Much From My Partner?

At some point in our relationship we ask ourselves: Do I expect too much from my partner? We all wish to have a manual clearly saying what is asking for too much and what is reasonable. There are things you should and shouldn’t expect from your partner. And it’s vital to know the difference; because it can really raise the bar in your relationship and happiness, or deplete whatever love or joy is left.   First, answer this: are the following myths or truths? —You shouldn’t expect your partner to be your friend. —You shouldn’t expect passion in your relationship if you have a friendship. —Your relationship/marriage is not a place to self-actualize or become the person you want to be. You may have read some articles, especially recently, saying one of these or some sort of combination of these statements. The message is that “enough is never enough,” and...

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JK Rowling's message on donations

JK Rowling’s message on donations

  Many people might think that JK Rowling is satisfied to be an extremely successful author, but it turns out she has a real calling—a mission. JK Rowling has a message about donations. Her goal is to shut down orphanages globally by 2050. This particular interview had enlightened my ignorant self on the matter of orphanages worldwide, and how natural disaster specifically, like Hurricane Harvey at the moment, can be a big reason for children to kept in orphanages when 80% of them have parents. We loved this interview and wanted to condense it into a short version to make it more sharable. In the wake of Hurricane Harvey, please think before you donate. Inform yourself, so that your money will assist families, not tear them apart.      

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Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

  “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you.” What’s the difference?!? Is it possible to fall out of love so suddenly or just because? Research suggests there are 3 common dangers that direct us to falling out of love. I explain in the video why that is. It’s good to know, because we don’t want our partner to stop caring about us all of sudden. It’s unstable. Plus, you can avoid it. It’s completely fair to want a loyal and loving partner that cares about your happiness.   This is our first video for Love Savvy Club! Although I’ve made some in the past, we’re bringing them back. We don’t know yet if we will post every other Friday or every month with a mix of blogs, but we do know they’ll be engaging and fun, not always the standard-advice video. In any case, you will still...

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31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

    A friend of mine said years ago, “Marriage is a battlefield” and every offense is obviously intentional. At that time I could definitely relate to feeling in an episode of Tom & Jerry. Your partner may be out to get you. Then again, we may just be foolish enough to believe this and other myths about love. Love is not just nature’s way of tricking us to reproduce… …but also to accept an imperfect human being as our teammate in life.  Or as MyLittlePwny so eloquently put it: Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to. So let’s reduce our chances of disappointment, shall we? 31 Myths About Love Debunked (based on reliable research): 1. Play hard to get: Will attract a specific kind of mate. Those that get bored after the chase. Watch Lucy’s video on “How to Play Hard to Get” to get...

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