Love


Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

  Say you don’t have the time or money to plan those romantic dates because last time you went to the opera by private plane with—wait, that’s Pretty Woman. In every relationship education class there is a strong encouragement for regular date nights. Some couples say they don’t miss a week. Others, ahem, a good amount, say they try once in awhile. Then there’s those who say they don’t need date nights at all. Well, what is best for you? Are you missing out on something if you changed the way you date your long-term partner?  It’s almost like the question of comparing which workout is better, high-intensity or moderate? Depends. One saves time. But why are you working out? What’s the purpose? To lose weight, be healthy, maintain your weight, build up strength?   What’s the purpose of date nights? In the field of RME (relationship and marriage educaion), we often...

Read More

31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

    A friend of mine said years ago, “Marriage is a battlefield” and every offense is obviously intentional. At that time I could definitely relate to feeling in an episode of Tom & Jerry. Your partner may be out to get you. Then again, we may just be foolish enough to believe this and other myths about love. Love is not just nature’s way of tricking us to reproduce… …but also to accept an imperfect human being as our teammate in life.  Or as MyLittlePwny so eloquently put it: Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to. So let’s reduce our chances of disappointment, shall we? 31 Myths About Love Debunked (based on reliable research): 1. Play hard to get: Will attract a specific kind of mate. Those that get bored after the chase. Watch Lucy’s video on “How to Play Hard to Get” to get...

Read More

The Most Romantic Gift You Can Give

The Most Romantic Gift You Can Give

Question for you: would you rather be adored or ignored? Even in this world of 7.4 billion people, someone is enchanted by your uniqueness, believe it or not. And more often than not, partners do care about their other half, but don’t necessarily show it (they might not know how or they haven’t had their own needs met). What do we welcome any day of the week———and really is the most romantic gift you can give someone?   Responsiveness. Warm, attentive and supportive recognition of our needs, welfare, and interests.   We want to see indicators that our partner understands us and cares about us. That excludes being indifferent, judgmental, critical, and insensitive. A responsive partner is actively engaged while listening, compassionate to our needs, and sensitive to our fears and insecurities. They are genuinely interested in us, care about what we have to say, acknowledge us, and make us...

Read More

Secrets Couples Don't Tell (but should they?)

Secrets Couples Don’t Tell (but should they?)

  Psss, have you shared with your partner what it is that you really want (fill in the blank: this weekend, to solve your recent disagreement, to feel loved, to destress, from them to support you in your goals, to feel pleased)? Don’t worry. I won’t tell ’em. That’s between the two of you and it’s none of my business. But did you know about these secrets couples don’t tell, sometimes not even each other? 1. When they feel jealous Do they hide and react in other ways? Are they up front about it? Is it often and overbearing? Is it not enough? What’s the right amount? It’s tricky because a completely healthy and secure adult can be jealous about something their partner wouldn’t be, but it doesn’t make it any less valid. It takes a lot of courage and self-esteem to stand up for yourself and say “I’m not comfortable...

Read More

When to sweep things under the rug

When to sweep things under the rug

Humor me by pretending we all solve our problems in the most respectful and appropriate manner. Yes, that means we’re pretending we would never roll our eyes, blame, manipulate, yell, ignore, overreact, or sweep things under the rug. We’re like the perfect couple you run into at church or at your child’s school, that never argue and are always so nice to each other (puke!). If an issue comes up for them, both of them say sorry, how cute—not, and make up. Wait? You relate to this couple? Are ya sure you’re human? Oh good, you are. We’re just pretending we’re like this couple. Good. We’re on the same page.   So let’s pretend we do all the following, which is the opposite of sweeping things under the rug: 1. We take responsibility for our part. If you’ve had a disagreement with your partner it doesn’t take long for you...

Read More

Build Intimacy: 3 Smart Connection Strategies You Should Try On For Size

Build Intimacy: 3 Smart Connection Strategies You Should Try On For Size

  For some people relationships are like wardrobes. New and exciting at first. You notice all your favorite things of this new item. It brings out your eyes. Smells fresh and new. Feels so smooth. You mix and match with accessories, makeup, handbags and nail polish. Strangers can’t resisit but to compliment you on the street. “You look good!” There comes a point in time when it’s the same ol’ thing and it’s time to get a new one. Relationships are not very different—but is it a good idea to be out with the old? Intimacy is like an ice cream sundae with all the scrumptous toppings and chocolate syrup settling at the bottom. If you just dabble at the surface you don’t get to indulge. You don’t want to treat the relationship like a wardrobe and replace when the feeling of novelty has worn off. Research has identified 3 ways to...

Read More

11 Steps To Get Someone To Fall (And Stay) In Love With You

11 Steps To Get Someone To Fall (And Stay) In Love With You

Want to charm a special person to get a first date? Or keep the romance going? Or, perhaps, do you want your spouse to fall in love with you all over again? It doesn’t matter what stage you’re at, there are “tricks” and there are long-lasting ways that the psychology of attraction has found to make cupid hit the arrow straight—in case he missed the first time or hasn’t even shot the darn thing! To get someone to fall in love, first understand why we fall in love. As humans, we are born to connect. We are social animals, and our survival doesn’t just consist of food and water, but “to nurture and be nurtured,” as the psychiatrist Bruce Perry says. In my search to see what other articles have posted on this topic (before deciding to write this article), I found them most to be incomplete or irrelevant. That’s...

Read More

How do I send my partner the right signals?

How do I send my partner the right signals?

How do I send my partner the right signals? Why doesn’t he get it? Do I need to spell it out for her? If he doesn’t show me he loves me (like that meme on Facebook described), then he doesn’t really care about me. Why does she keep pushing me away? Doesn’t she know she’s creating more distance? Can’t he get a hint?   We hear a lot about the ineffectiveness of mind reading, and yet… Body language is a subtle visual of our thoughts and reactions. Some of us have a good grip on masking our emotions, but in general, the subtle tone of voice, facial expression, posture, and impulsive reactions tend to give us away. The “I’m fine” response comes with a lower pitch, serious face, and no eye-contact. It’s a mixed message. So we go with the easy one, the one that gets us off the...

Read More

What The Meaning of Love Can Teach Us

What The Meaning of Love Can Teach Us

  Love: The irresistible desire to be irrisistably desired. Mark Twain What does love mean to you? When you think of love, are you thinking of your career, your children, your partner, your parents, your siblings, your past love, or yourself? Who are we, if not measured by our impact on others? That’s who we are! We’re not who we say we are, we’re not who we want to be—we are the sum of the influence and impact that we have, in our lives, on others. Neil Degrasse Tyson We impact and influence our relationships, for better or worse. To our benefit or our detriment. Every. Day. Every. Contact. There are dreams or interests we may hope to materialize. I want to feel loved. I want a job I love. I want her to call me. I want him to thank me. I want my parents to support my...

Read More

Story: Our Marriage Was Like A Filthy Sock

Story: Our Marriage Was Like A Filthy Sock

Remember the first time you kissed your partner? Or even perhaps the first time you touched hands and came into any kind of contact that electrified your entire being? A friend of mine said, it was the moment he realized the look. Coming up close, barely containing his breathe. Inhaling the scent of perfume and exhaling the heat from his mouth. It’s the moment the flame has been ignited. When it fades, what do you do to spark it? Keep it warm and lit? When the light goes out (as it will because as fire needs oxygen, too much of it can blow it out), what do you do? How do you spark the flame? To be blunt, the flame will weaken, and go out. Maybe once, maybe twice, or maybe a dozen times. The reconnection, the making up, the reconciliation can make the flame bigger and harder to...

Read More

Page 1 of 212