Intimacy


3 behaviors that frighten love away, based on relationship science

3 behaviors that frighten love away, based on relationship science

If you feel pushed away, ya might want to send this link to your partner to drop a hint. Or if you feel frustrated or distant  this may explain why. As for the lovebirds, this blog helps you confirm what you’re doing right. But for everyone this is mainly to learn how to avoid the very things that frighten love away.  It can be terrifying to enter a relationship in hopes it ends well. As you know, starting a relationship requires a lot of risk. Of course, you earn trust with time, but you do have to take risks along the way and test to see if this is a relationship you want to continue, or if this person is right for you as a spouse. We’re baffled when it doesn’t work out, or we assume we know exactly the reason and avoid that in the next relationship to...

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Do I Expect Too Much From My Partner?

Do I Expect Too Much From My Partner?

At some point in our relationship we ask ourselves: Do I expect too much from my partner? We all wish to have a manual clearly saying what is asking for too much and what is reasonable. There are things you should and shouldn’t expect from your partner. And it’s vital to know the difference; because it can really raise the bar in your relationship and happiness, or deplete whatever love or joy is left.   First, answer this: are the following myths or truths? —You shouldn’t expect your partner to be your friend. —You shouldn’t expect passion in your relationship if you have a friendship. —Your relationship/marriage is not a place to self-actualize or become the person you want to be. You may have read some articles, especially recently, saying one of these or some sort of combination of these statements. The message is that “enough is never enough,” and...

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Are you too passive?

Are you too passive?

How do you know if you’re too passive? Whether you avoid rocking the boat or are tired of bringing up an issue because of a stubborn partner, it’s fair that there are issues you try to roll off your shoulders—in hopes they will go away on their own or time will resolve them. But if you aren’t passive, what’s the alternative? Passive aggressiveness? Nagging? Vicious arguments? How can you tactfully stand up for yourself, get your needs met, be assertive, and still be respectful? In today’s video I share what it takes. It sounds straightforward, because it is—you don’t need extra bells and whistles to say what you need. But you may be asking yourself: why does it matter? “Why should I care to be less passive?” The most obvious reasons are: • You’re partner doesn’t have a clue of what’s bothering you, therefore will most likely do it...

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The Ideal Partner

The Ideal Partner

How do you know when someone is perfect for you? What does the ideal partner look like, sound like, act like, behave like? What makes them so irresistible you could cat-fight over them? Or gives you the will to sneekingly stage an elopment until it’s too late for them to realize they’re now trapped? So many endless qualities are blogged to identify your perfect mate, that only makes the search more dizzying. This video isn’t your typical list to check-off. As if you’re a private investigator trying to criminalize an innocent human being. It’s simpler than most people realize. It doesn’t haven’t to be overcomplicated. Knowing if someone is right for you, shouldn’t be hard. Finding them … is a different story. Who knows, you might find out your current partner might have what it takes to be ideal.     Besides feeling emotionally connected to your partner, you want...

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Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

  “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you.” What’s the difference?!? Is it possible to fall out of love so suddenly or just because? Research suggests there are 3 common dangers that direct us to falling out of love. I explain in the video why that is. It’s good to know, because we don’t want our partner to stop caring about us all of sudden. It’s unstable. Plus, you can avoid it. It’s completely fair to want a loyal and loving partner that cares about your happiness.   This is our first video for Love Savvy Club! Although I’ve made some in the past, we’re bringing them back. We don’t know yet if we will post every other Friday or every month with a mix of blogs, but we do know they’ll be engaging and fun, not always the standard-advice video. In any case, you will still...

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What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

  Not to say Ross’ “we were on a break” line isn’t an ice-breaker giving him that irresistible charm, but the writers behind the show FRIENDS had a secret “competitive” weapon that therapists and real-deal relationship experts use and teach their clients. As much as we love to argue about another “stupid” issue, there are times when we can save ourselves a headache. Ironically, the hit tv show FRIENDS teaches us the most important thing about communication. Today’s video is all about how to get our message across without getting louder, using the cold shoulder, mind reading, or giving up. It’s sort of a “blast from the past” video, before Love Savvy Club, and at the birth of the 11-day Communication Challenge. Watch it and learn the secrets that make it ridiculously easy to overcome any communication problems.   After watching the video, test the 2 secrets yourself this week, or even for the next...

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Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

  Say you don’t have the time or money to plan those romantic dates because last time you went to the opera by private plane with—wait, that’s Pretty Woman. In every relationship education class there is a strong encouragement for regular date nights. Some couples say they don’t miss a week. Others, ahem, a good amount, say they try once in awhile. Then there’s those who say they don’t need date nights at all. Well, what is best for you? Are you missing out on something if you changed the way you date your long-term partner?  It’s almost like the question of comparing which workout is better, high-intensity or moderate? Depends. One saves time. But why are you working out? What’s the purpose? To lose weight, be healthy, maintain your weight, build up strength?   What’s the purpose of date nights? In the field of RME (relationship and marriage educaion), we often...

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The Most Romantic Gift You Can Give

The Most Romantic Gift You Can Give

Question for you: would you rather be adored or ignored? Even in this world of 7.4 billion people, someone is enchanted by your uniqueness, believe it or not. And more often than not, partners do care about their other half, but don’t necessarily show it (they might not know how or they haven’t had their own needs met). What do we welcome any day of the week———and really is the most romantic gift you can give someone?   Responsiveness. Warm, attentive and supportive recognition of our needs, welfare, and interests.   We want to see indicators that our partner understands us and cares about us. That excludes being indifferent, judgmental, critical, and insensitive. A responsive partner is actively engaged while listening, compassionate to our needs, and sensitive to our fears and insecurities. They are genuinely interested in us, care about what we have to say, acknowledge us, and make us...

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Secrets Couples Don't Tell (but should they?)

Secrets Couples Don’t Tell (but should they?)

  Psss, have you shared with your partner what it is that you really want (fill in the blank: this weekend, to solve your recent disagreement, to feel loved, to destress, from them to support you in your goals, to feel pleased)? Don’t worry. I won’t tell ’em. That’s between the two of you and it’s none of my business. But did you know about these secrets couples don’t tell, sometimes not even each other? 1. When they feel jealous Do they hide and react in other ways? Are they up front about it? Is it often and overbearing? Is it not enough? What’s the right amount? It’s tricky because a completely healthy and secure adult can be jealous about something their partner wouldn’t be, but it doesn’t make it any less valid. It takes a lot of courage and self-esteem to stand up for yourself and say “I’m not comfortable...

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5 Steps To Stop Work From Destroying Your Marriage

5 Steps To Stop Work From Destroying Your Marriage

We all know work can get in the way of a really great relationship—and family. There are both sides to the coin. “I would like my partner’s support.” “I would like to feel like a priority.” We’re stuck in a catch-22—within that feeling of disappointment. We don’t give a little because we don’t feel loved, and our partner doesn’t give a little because they don’t feel loved. There are 5 vital steps to take to avoid work from destroying your marriage. In fact, it might reconnect you in spite of it or because of it. So, don’t let work be a homewrecker with these 5 steps:   1. Take the “what’s important?” test  First be clear with yourself about what is important and why it is important. On a piece of paper write the answer to: Why do I want to work on the relationship? For those that are passionate about...

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