Health


7 Actions That Make A Resilient Couple

7 Actions That Make A Resilient Couple

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it,” says someone not in a resilient relationship. So you’re passed the first dates—or the honeymoon stage—where you flirt, look your best, practice your best manners and maybe even sacrifice what you prefer to do … in every interaction. In hopes or urgency to develop the relationship further. Because you feel attracted to someone—who you don’t even know yet, and they don’t even know you yet. Both of you are putting up your best personas. For all that, eventually you’ll feel more comfortable, or dare we say lazy, to flirt, look your best, practice your manners and now feel in your right to act a bit more greedy in your desires. Beyond the obvious act of making an effort in your relationship to keep it healthy, what should that effort look like? Which specific efforts separate you from being an Average Couple to being a...

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What you say to your partner: Naughty or Nice?

What you say to your partner: Naughty or Nice?

What’s your secretly favorite insult that gives you goosebumps and a surge of adrenaline? Mine is from a favorite film, can you guess it? “You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin’ paramecium brain, munchin’ on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!” If I had my own list to check twice, I would put Robin Williams on the Nice list, wouldn’t you? Probably because it’s seems so satisfying to see his character release pent-up anger in a boyish, creative way and finally participating at the level of the lost boys. Forgetting about being an intolerable adult. And we all get that craving of just wanting to behave like a wild lost child because adulthood is a bit of a truckload of responsibilities. So guess what? It’s not totally detrimental to be a bit naughty with what you say to your partner.  Let’s be honest, we’re not always nice to each other. We get defensive....

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How to be supportive and show you care

How to be supportive and show you care

How do you show you care? Is it with simple gestures, a small gift, or picking up the phone every time your partner calls? To be considered dependable, a source of support, and someone to trust, you’re probably already offering all these things—or almost all of them. Relationship science has found 5 behaviors that show you care in any relationship (with your partner, your friends, your relatives, your children, etc.).   Respect As Frei & Shaver found in their research, a partner worthy of respect is someone who possesses moral qualities, consideration for others, acceptance of others, honesty, and willingness to listen to others.   Trust Relationship science says we trust those who we confidently believe to have our best interests at heart. Although this takes time, it happens when someone is consistently attentive to our wishes and is reliably unselfish towards our needs.   Capitalization A good friend...

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Are you too passive?

Are you too passive?

How do you know if you’re too passive? Whether you avoid rocking the boat or are tired of bringing up an issue because of a stubborn partner, it’s fair that there are issues you try to roll off your shoulders—in hopes they will go away on their own or time will resolve them. But if you aren’t passive, what’s the alternative? Passive aggressiveness? Nagging? Vicious arguments? How can you tactfully stand up for yourself, get your needs met, be assertive, and still be respectful? In today’s video I share what it takes. It sounds straightforward, because it is—you don’t need extra bells and whistles to say what you need. But you may be asking yourself: why does it matter? “Why should I care to be less passive?” The most obvious reasons are: • You’re partner doesn’t have a clue of what’s bothering you, therefore will most likely do it...

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2 Ways To Release Or Avoid Pent Up Anger

2 Ways To Release Or Avoid Pent Up Anger

Don’t worry. These are ridiculously simple ways to release anger. This video explains the consequences of when we stuff our anger and when we release it destructively. Which most of us know how to do well. It’s uncommon to know how to release anger without attacking or belittling others, especially our partner. Then we feel guilty or worse after. And there’s no reason for that. At least rarely. Watch the video if you also want to know how you can create the next Lamborghini, see if Anger Rooms are right for you, know if Yoga or taking a walk is even helpful when steamed, or if the “avengement” you’ve been plotting is in fact Jedi-style heroism. (If you haven’t seen Star Wars—I actually have met people that haven’t—the “dark side” is after revenge, and the jedis are heros after justice (fighting the dark side). As if you didn’t know.) Why...

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How To Buy Happiness

How To Buy Happiness

Can you just pay someone to make you happy? Can you buy happiness? Technically, yes, according to recently released research mentioned in the New York Times, we CAN buy happiness—and reduce stress. But who do we pay? Can you just pay your partner to be loyal to you? Wouldn’t that be nice! In today’s video, I talk about what it is that you’re buying and how this applies to romantic relationships. (This is a series of videos we’re releasing for the next 2 months every Friday, to see if this is something we want to continue.)  There’s a good point to make, I wish we all knew sooner than later. Because it’s not about spending extra money, but really redirecting the money you already spend to things that will make you happier.       After seeing what money can and can’t buy you, it may seem like you have...

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Heartbreak Remedy: When Feeling Disillusioned

Heartbreak Remedy: When Feeling Disillusioned

  Sometimes a dark day is upon us and all we want to do is hide in a hole or run as fast as we can away from this pain. This heartbreak we feel, may seem difficult to remedy or get rid of. Maybe you felt betrayed, experienced a big loss, or like you’ve failed in something important to you and now you want to cure this heavy heart breaking in your chest. Today, may not feel like a day of hope or of possibly living without this burden. Tomorrow may not feel close enough to reach a time of knowing this moment is in the past, or tomorrow doesn’t seem worth the trouble and the struggle. We get that. Some days are difficult. And the pain can be carried onto months and even years. Give yourself this time to process your current state. When you do that, the poison won’t...

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What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

  Not to say Ross’ “we were on a break” line isn’t an ice-breaker giving him that irresistible charm, but the writers behind the show FRIENDS had a secret “competitive” weapon that therapists and real-deal relationship experts use and teach their clients. As much as we love to argue about another “stupid” issue, there are times when we can save ourselves a headache. Ironically, the hit tv show FRIENDS teaches us the most important thing about communication. Today’s video is all about how to get our message across without getting louder, using the cold shoulder, mind reading, or giving up. It’s sort of a “blast from the past” video, before Love Savvy Club, and at the birth of the 11-day Communication Challenge. Watch it and learn the secrets that make it ridiculously easy to overcome any communication problems.   After watching the video, test the 2 secrets yourself this week, or even for the next...

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We never forget when others hurt us—and why that's a good thing

We never forget when others hurt us—and why that’s a good thing

  We won’t forget the hurtful things. That’s our human blessing. If we were to forget it would be the same as walking up to a rattle snake in the wild and petting it. Being completely abset-minded of the pain we’re deliberately walking into. Our memory lets us know this, whatever this is, is not safe. The fear has been our alarm to survive and avoid physical danger. Today, we don’t find ourselves physically running away from danger, but emotionally we are. It’s healthy to be aware and identify what’s simply not safe. But it’s unhealthy for our bodies to consume our fear. Sometimes, we have to be in incredibly difficult situations where we feel uncomfortable, betrayed, belittled, ostracized, or bullied. We are forced to a certain point. This bodily reaction is telling us to run, but we can’t. But we can gently leave these scenarios without causing more...

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How to help a friend with relationship problems

How to help a friend with relationship problems

  As human beings we need to support each other and be there for each other. Despite our differences in what makes us upset or what we truly want, we need each other to get through any setbacks or current struggles. We’re not meant to struggle on our own.  We have the power to make things worse for our friend, like upsetting them more and affecting their emotional health, or take a load off their shoulders and be by their side in whatever path they take. The last thing we want is to make things worse because of misguided advice! We don’t want to say the wrong thing, get over involved, or assume our friend has the same needs and feelings we do to then realize they got the results they didn’t want (but we would’ve wanted if we were in their shoes). The worst adivce we ever got was to...

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