Connection


Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

  Say you don’t have the time or money to plan those romantic dates because last time you went to the opera by private plane with—wait, that’s Pretty Woman. In every relationship education class there is a strong encouragement for regular date nights. Some couples say they don’t miss a week. Others, ahem, a good amount, say they try once in awhile. Then there’s those who say they don’t need date nights at all. Well, what is best for you? Are you missing out on something if you changed the way you date your long-term partner?  It’s almost like the question of comparing which workout is better, high-intensity or moderate? Depends. One saves time. But why are you working out? What’s the purpose? To lose weight, be healthy, maintain your weight, build up strength?   What’s the purpose of date nights? In the field of RME (relationship and marriage educaion), we often...

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31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

    A friend of mine said years ago, “Marriage is a battlefield” and every offense is obviously intentional. At that time I could definitely relate to feeling in an episode of Tom & Jerry. Your partner may be out to get you. Then again, we may just be foolish enough to believe this and other myths about love. Love is not just nature’s way of tricking us to reproduce… …but also to accept an imperfect human being as our teammate in life.  Or as MyLittlePwny so eloquently put it: Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to. So let’s reduce our chances of disappointment, shall we? 31 Myths About Love Debunked (based on reliable research): 1. Play hard to get: Will attract a specific kind of mate. Those that get bored after the chase. Watch Lucy’s video on “How to Play Hard to Get” to get...

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Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Are you experiencing meaningless happiness? Remember thinking “I will be happy when ____.” Then it happens, and after some time, or sometimes even immediately, it’s not as fulfilling. Meaningless happiness is what you feel when what you thought what would make you happy, actually doesn’t. Maybe we’ve won a Grammy, had a makeover, hit the jackpot, bought a house, got engaged, lost our virginity, finally stopped biting our nails, and lost some weight to then find something else we need. All because we thought, “If only I were rich/famous/fit/the boss/engaged/homeowner, I would be happy.” If only. What’s your “if only” that you’re thinking about now? According to the happiness gurus in positive psychology, all that “if only” amount to 10% of our happiness. The good news, we have control of our happiness, 40% of it to be exact. Doctor Sonja Lyubomirsky and her collegues at the University of California, Riverside found...

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The Most Romantic Gift You Can Give

The Most Romantic Gift You Can Give

Question for you: would you rather be adored or ignored? Even in this world of 7.4 billion people, someone is enchanted by your uniqueness, believe it or not. And more often than not, partners do care about their other half, but don’t necessarily show it (they might not know how or they haven’t had their own needs met). What do we welcome any day of the week———and really is the most romantic gift you can give someone?   Responsiveness. Warm, attentive and supportive recognition of our needs, welfare, and interests.   We want to see indicators that our partner understands us and cares about us. That excludes being indifferent, judgmental, critical, and insensitive. A responsive partner is actively engaged while listening, compassionate to our needs, and sensitive to our fears and insecurities. They are genuinely interested in us, care about what we have to say, acknowledge us, and make us...

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Build Intimacy: 3 Smart Connection Strategies You Should Try On For Size

Build Intimacy: 3 Smart Connection Strategies You Should Try On For Size

  For some people relationships are like wardrobes. New and exciting at first. You notice all your favorite things of this new item. It brings out your eyes. Smells fresh and new. Feels so smooth. You mix and match with accessories, makeup, handbags and nail polish. Strangers can’t resisit but to compliment you on the street. “You look good!” There comes a point in time when it’s the same ol’ thing and it’s time to get a new one. Relationships are not very different—but is it a good idea to be out with the old? Intimacy is like an ice cream sundae with all the scrumptous toppings and chocolate syrup settling at the bottom. If you just dabble at the surface you don’t get to indulge. You don’t want to treat the relationship like a wardrobe and replace when the feeling of novelty has worn off. Research has identified 3 ways to...

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How to Revive a Dead Relationship… In Minutes

How to Revive a Dead Relationship… In Minutes

Sometimes the simplest things are the ones that produce more value. When we overcomplicate our lives we succeed in feeling overwhelmed and that won’t necessarily spark any fresh adventure, passionate connection, or relaxing massages on a sunny beach.   I do have one big question for you. How do you feel alive? Speaking in general terms, how do you feel alive in life? What do you like to do that lifts your mood? What are things that make you feel happy? Within any relationship, we first must make ourselves happy before we can search happiness within a romantic relationship. But let’s dive into what will make a relationship come alive, when you know how to make yourself happy—these only take a few minutes to do. 1. Celebrate Good News Genuinely, No Matter How Small.  Scientists have revealed the secret to building strong relationships, not just with your partner. The...

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