Connection


How to be supportive and show you care

How to be supportive and show you care

How do you show you care? Is it with simple gestures, a small gift, or picking up the phone every time your partner calls? To be considered dependable, a source of support, and someone to trust, you’re probably already offering all these things—or almost all of them. Relationship science has found 5 behaviors that show you care in any relationship (with your partner, your friends, your relatives, your children, etc.).   Respect As Frei & Shaver found in their research, a partner worthy of respect is someone who possesses moral qualities, consideration for others, acceptance of others, honesty, and willingness to listen to others.   Trust Relationship science says we trust those who we confidently believe to have our best interests at heart. Although this takes time, it happens when someone is consistently attentive to our wishes and is reliably unselfish towards our needs.   Capitalization A good friend...

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3 behaviors that frighten love away, based on relationship science

3 behaviors that frighten love away, based on relationship science

If you feel pushed away, ya might want to send this link to your partner to drop a hint. Or if you feel frustrated or distant  this may explain why. As for the lovebirds, this blog helps you confirm what you’re doing right. But for everyone this is mainly to learn how to avoid the very things that frighten love away.  It can be terrifying to enter a relationship in hopes it ends well. As you know, starting a relationship requires a lot of risk. Of course, you earn trust with time, but you do have to take risks along the way and test to see if this is a relationship you want to continue, or if this person is right for you as a spouse. We’re baffled when it doesn’t work out, or we assume we know exactly the reason and avoid that in the next relationship to...

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Do I Expect Too Much From My Partner?

Do I Expect Too Much From My Partner?

At some point in our relationship we ask ourselves: Do I expect too much from my partner? We all wish to have a manual clearly saying what is asking for too much and what is reasonable. There are things you should and shouldn’t expect from your partner. And it’s vital to know the difference; because it can really raise the bar in your relationship and happiness, or deplete whatever love or joy is left.   First, answer this: are the following myths or truths? —You shouldn’t expect your partner to be your friend. —You shouldn’t expect passion in your relationship if you have a friendship. —Your relationship/marriage is not a place to self-actualize or become the person you want to be. You may have read some articles, especially recently, saying one of these or some sort of combination of these statements. The message is that “enough is never enough,” and...

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The Ideal Partner

The Ideal Partner

How do you know when someone is perfect for you? What does the ideal partner look like, sound like, act like, behave like? What makes them so irresistible you could cat-fight over them? Or gives you the will to sneekingly stage an elopment until it’s too late for them to realize they’re now trapped? So many endless qualities are blogged to identify your perfect mate, that only makes the search more dizzying. This video isn’t your typical list to check-off. As if you’re a private investigator trying to criminalize an innocent human being. It’s simpler than most people realize. It doesn’t haven’t to be overcomplicated. Knowing if someone is right for you, shouldn’t be hard. Finding them … is a different story. Who knows, you might find out your current partner might have what it takes to be ideal.     Besides feeling emotionally connected to your partner, you want...

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Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

  “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you.” What’s the difference?!? Is it possible to fall out of love so suddenly or just because? Research suggests there are 3 common dangers that direct us to falling out of love. I explain in the video why that is. It’s good to know, because we don’t want our partner to stop caring about us all of sudden. It’s unstable. Plus, you can avoid it. It’s completely fair to want a loyal and loving partner that cares about your happiness.   This is our first video for Love Savvy Club! Although I’ve made some in the past, we’re bringing them back. We don’t know yet if we will post every other Friday or every month with a mix of blogs, but we do know they’ll be engaging and fun, not always the standard-advice video. In any case, you will still...

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Heartbreak Remedy: When Feeling Disillusioned

Heartbreak Remedy: When Feeling Disillusioned

  Sometimes a dark day is upon us and all we want to do is hide in a hole or run as fast as we can away from this pain. This heartbreak we feel, may seem difficult to remedy or get rid of. Maybe you felt betrayed, experienced a big loss, or like you’ve failed in something important to you and now you want to cure this heavy heart breaking in your chest. Today, may not feel like a day of hope or of possibly living without this burden. Tomorrow may not feel close enough to reach a time of knowing this moment is in the past, or tomorrow doesn’t seem worth the trouble and the struggle. We get that. Some days are difficult. And the pain can be carried onto months and even years. Give yourself this time to process your current state. When you do that, the poison won’t...

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What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

  Not to say Ross’ “we were on a break” line isn’t an ice-breaker giving him that irresistible charm, but the writers behind the show FRIENDS had a secret “competitive” weapon that therapists and real-deal relationship experts use and teach their clients. As much as we love to argue about another “stupid” issue, there are times when we can save ourselves a headache. Ironically, the hit tv show FRIENDS teaches us the most important thing about communication. Today’s video is all about how to get our message across without getting louder, using the cold shoulder, mind reading, or giving up. It’s sort of a “blast from the past” video, before Love Savvy Club, and at the birth of the 11-day Communication Challenge. Watch it and learn the secrets that make it ridiculously easy to overcome any communication problems.   After watching the video, test the 2 secrets yourself this week, or even for the next...

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Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

  Say you don’t have the time or money to plan those romantic dates because last time you went to the opera by private plane with—wait, that’s Pretty Woman. In every relationship education class there is a strong encouragement for regular date nights. Some couples say they don’t miss a week. Others, ahem, a good amount, say they try once in awhile. Then there’s those who say they don’t need date nights at all. Well, what is best for you? Are you missing out on something if you changed the way you date your long-term partner?  It’s almost like the question of comparing which workout is better, high-intensity or moderate? Depends. One saves time. But why are you working out? What’s the purpose? To lose weight, be healthy, maintain your weight, build up strength?   What’s the purpose of date nights? In the field of RME (relationship and marriage educaion), we often...

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31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

    A friend of mine said years ago, “Marriage is a battlefield” and every offense is obviously intentional. At that time I could definitely relate to feeling in an episode of Tom & Jerry. Your partner may be out to get you. Then again, we may just be foolish enough to believe this and other myths about love. Love is not just nature’s way of tricking us to reproduce… …but also to accept an imperfect human being as our teammate in life.  Or as MyLittlePwny so eloquently put it: Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to. So let’s reduce our chances of disappointment, shall we? 31 Myths About Love Debunked (based on reliable research): 1. Play hard to get: Will attract a specific kind of mate. Those that get bored after the chase. Watch Lucy’s video on “How to Play Hard to Get” to get...

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Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Are you experiencing meaningless happiness? Remember thinking “I will be happy when ____.” Then it happens, and after some time, or sometimes even immediately, it’s not as fulfilling. Meaningless happiness is what you feel when what you thought what would make you happy, actually doesn’t. Maybe we’ve won a Grammy, had a makeover, hit the jackpot, bought a house, got engaged, lost our virginity, finally stopped biting our nails, and lost some weight to then find something else we need. All because we thought, “If only I were rich/famous/fit/the boss/engaged/homeowner, I would be happy.” If only. What’s your “if only” that you’re thinking about now? According to the happiness gurus in positive psychology, all that “if only” amount to 10% of our happiness. The good news, we have control of our happiness, 40% of it to be exact. Doctor Sonja Lyubomirsky and her collegues at the University of California, Riverside found...

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