Heartbreak Remedy: When Feeling Disillusioned

  Sometimes a dark day is upon us and all we want to do is hide in a hole or run as fast as we can away from this pain. This heartbreak we feel, may seem difficult to remedy or get rid of. Maybe you felt betrayed, experienced a big loss, or like you’ve failed in something important to you and now you want to cure this heavy heart breaking in your chest. Today, may not feel like a day of hope or of possibly living without this burden. Tomorrow may not feel close enough to reach a time of knowing this moment is in the past, or tomorrow doesn’t seem worth the trouble and the struggle. We get that. Some days are difficult. And the pain can be carried onto months and even years. Give yourself this time to process your current state. When you do that, the poison won’t live long. Feelings drift and change. They are momentary.  The anger or sadness you feel may settle into a different feeling. But your mind will remember wisely, and possibly grow. You might change your opinion about someone and learn your lesson or never forget the loss you had to accept.......

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What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

What can the hit TV show FRIENDS teach us about communication

  Not to say Ross’ “we were on a break” line isn’t an ice-breaker giving him that irresistible charm, but the writers behind the show FRIENDS had a secret “competitive” weapon that therapists and real-deal relationship experts use and teach their clients. As much as we love to argue about another “stupid” issue, there are times when we can save ourselves a headache. Ironically, the hit tv show FRIENDS teaches us the most important thing about communication. Today’s video is all about how to get our message across without getting louder, using the cold shoulder, mind reading, or giving up. It’s sort of a “blast from the past” video, before Love Savvy Club, and at the birth of the 11-day Communication Challenge. Watch it and learn the secrets that make it ridiculously easy to overcome any communication problems.   After watching the video, test the 2 secrets yourself this week, or even for the next...

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Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

Are regular date nights even necessary for couples?

  Say you don’t have the time or money to plan those romantic dates because last time you went to the opera by private plane with—wait, that’s Pretty Woman. In every relationship education class there is a strong encouragement for regular date nights. Some couples say they don’t miss a week. Others, ahem, a good amount, say they try once in awhile. Then there’s those who say they don’t need date nights at all. Well, what is best for you? Are you missing out on something if you changed the way you date your long-term partner?  It’s almost like the question of comparing which workout is better, high-intensity or moderate? Depends. One saves time. But why are you working out? What’s the purpose? To lose weight, be healthy, maintain your weight, build up strength?   What’s the purpose of date nights? In the field of RME (relationship and marriage educaion), we often...

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We never forget when others hurt us—and why that's a good thing

We never forget when others hurt us—and why that’s a good thing

  We won’t forget the hurtful things. That’s our human blessing. If we were to forget it would be the same as walking up to a rattle snake in the wild and petting it. Being completely abset-minded of the pain we’re deliberately walking into. Our memory lets us know this, whatever this is, is not safe. The fear has been our alarm to survive and avoid physical danger. Today, we don’t find ourselves physically running away from danger, but emotionally we are. It’s healthy to be aware and identify what’s simply not safe. But it’s unhealthy for our bodies to consume our fear. Sometimes, we have to be in incredibly difficult situations where we feel uncomfortable, betrayed, belittled, ostracized, or bullied. We are forced to a certain point. This bodily reaction is telling us to run, but we can’t. But we can gently leave these scenarios without causing more...

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31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

31 Myths About Love Too Many of Us Fall For

    A friend of mine said years ago, “Marriage is a battlefield” and every offense is obviously intentional. At that time I could definitely relate to feeling in an episode of Tom & Jerry. Your partner may be out to get you. Then again, we may just be foolish enough to believe this and other myths about love. Love is not just nature’s way of tricking us to reproduce… …but also to accept an imperfect human being as our teammate in life.  Or as MyLittlePwny so eloquently put it: Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to. So let’s reduce our chances of disappointment, shall we? 31 Myths About Love Debunked (based on reliable research): 1. Play hard to get: Will attract a specific kind of mate. Those that get bored after the chase. Watch Lucy’s video on “How to Play Hard to Get” to get...

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How to help a friend with relationship problems

How to help a friend with relationship problems

  As human beings we need to support each other and be there for each other. Despite our differences in what makes us upset or what we truly want, we need each other to get through any setbacks or current struggles. We’re not meant to struggle on our own.  We have the power to make things worse for our friend, like upsetting them more and affecting their emotional health, or take a load off their shoulders and be by their side in whatever path they take. The last thing we want is to make things worse because of misguided advice! We don’t want to say the wrong thing, get over involved, or assume our friend has the same needs and feelings we do to then realize they got the results they didn’t want (but we would’ve wanted if we were in their shoes). The worst adivce we ever got was to...

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Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Experiencing Meaningless Happiness? Do this instead.

Are you experiencing meaningless happiness? Remember thinking “I will be happy when ____.” Then it happens, and after some time, or sometimes even immediately, it’s not as fulfilling. Meaningless happiness is what you feel when what you thought what would make you happy, actually doesn’t. Maybe we’ve won a Grammy, had a makeover, hit the jackpot, bought a house, got engaged, lost our virginity, finally stopped biting our nails, and lost some weight to then find something else we need. All because we thought, “If only I were rich/famous/fit/the boss/engaged/homeowner, I would be happy.” If only. What’s your “if only” that you’re thinking about now? According to the happiness gurus in positive psychology, all that “if only” amount to 10% of our happiness. The good news, we have control of our happiness, 40% of it to be exact. Doctor Sonja Lyubomirsky and her collegues at the University of California, Riverside found...

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